That nagging feeling…

Something didn’t feel right. I just couldn’t figure it all out…
I tried to overlook this feeling because I thought it was my ugly insecurities roaring again, trying to block me from my blessings. Go away, chile, go away!
But that nagging feeling…it just wouldn’t go away.
It was almost as if it was a blaring red flag, as they like to say, right in my face. Stop!
I saw it waving  but…I pushed that out of my face, too. Lies…I tell ya…all lies! Not today!
I ignored all the basic signs, gave in to the benefit of the doubt. I hid my truth to satisfy. I hid my truth to please. I hid my truth to what I thought was love but…
That feeling….the nagging…it just wouldn’t go away. 
I even covered up for the world to see with my pout painted in my favorite Ruby Red lipstick. I curled my thick locs and kept my body tight.  I had it going on and you couldn’t tell me NOTHIN! I’m snazzy!
There shouldn’t be reasons why my feelings would lie. Sistah Intuition–are you hatin on me again?
Sistah please!
But that nagging feeling…it wouldn’t go away.
I was more than qualified–two degrees, independent, purpose-filled, gifted..and shall I say sexy!
But that nagging feeling…it just wouldn’t go away.
I settled, compromised, fake smiled, ignored my feelings and hoped for the best…
But that nagging feeling…it just wouldn’t go away.
 I wanted to love. I wanted to be loved. I wanted it to work out the way I wanted it to…
Bump that! Naw…this ish has got to work dammit!
But that nagging feeling…it just wouldn’t go away.
But the nagging…the source came from a deep sense of intuition, which always told me the truth in the past but…I didn’t want to hear all that jazz . No!
So go on, Sistah Intuition, go on with all that nonsense foolery!
She finally caught up with me…Sistah Intuition revealed the ugly truth. Ouch and amen.
Oh, Sistah Intuition, I wish I would’ve listened. Sistah Intuition….please, your truth hurts too much. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I never understood the whole idea of women’s intuition until I fell in love. I never understood what that truly meant until I had experienced the aftermath of NOT listening to my intuition. Intuition, that tiny gut feeling that something is “off” or “not right” has tons of validity to it.

As women, we have a deeper understanding of what is good for us and the latter. I used to blame it on overworked emotions, past romances, broken hearts, etc but those came and left for a reason. They came to teach us and they ended up leaving us because life realized that we deserve sooo much more!

When we don’t realize our amazing strength, our wisdom, our beauty and the overall genius of who we are (truth), we fall for what we think of ourselves in that very moment. We think low…we get low. We think high…well…

However, when God is ready to take you to that next level, Sistah Intuition has to step in. She knows much better than we do in our very weak moments and recognizes our truth and potential.

We know better but we continue to fail at that soooo…

Sistah Intuition sends us gentle reminders that we deserve better and can do better.

It takes a desire to want better for self, life and love. It takes an incredulous amount of self-love to look in the mirror to recognize that yes, Sistah Intuition came to save my mind, body and soul…..and no…I won’t suffer any longer in a lie nor will I continue to run from the inevitable truth!

Dear Sistah Intuition…

I won’t ignore your light and truth. You graced my heart and spirit with your presence once again and for that, I’m forever grateful.

One day…at a time.

Peace be still.


noun: intuition
  1. the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.
    “we shall allow our intuition to guide us”
    synonyms: instinct, intuitiveness; More

    sixth sense, clairvoyance, second sight
    “he works according to intuition”
    • a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.
      plural noun: intuitions
      “your insights and intuitions as a native speaker are positively sought”
      synonyms: hunch, feeling (in one’s bones), inkling, (sneaking) suspicion, idea, sense, notion; More


Did you give it up yet?

Now that I have your attention…giving it up…doesn’t always have to relate to sex. Is that what you were thinking?

Giving it up comes in all forms…especially the energy that you…give up and start taking in.

I don’t think I fully gave up my full surrender to the whole positive energy shift that I blogged about last week. I actually reflected about the workplace, my relationship, regarding my personal time–energy is real. If you haven’t read my first blog about it, make sure you read what I had to say…

If I want more positivity….I have to literally talk the talk…and…well you know the rest. I have to essentially give up the energy that no longer serves me and give out the energy that I want to receive back.

I do actually try to practice what I preach and not be so hypocritical about it. I used to do that- “Girl, you should exercise at least 3 times a week, save money, do self-love checks and not stay in toxic, broken relationships!”

I actually told a friend all of this and then turned around to do the polar opposite, especially the part about staying in toxic relationships. Where did I find myself? In toxic, broken relationships. Another story for a different day but you can check out what I learned from a broken heart right here.


What am I doing to keep myself from attracting the energy I want and deserve?

Gossiping, negative thinking, being petty…yes, girl yes! I said it. Petty. It happens. It’s a process. But…I have to give it up. It no longer serves where I’m trying to take my life.

Let me tell it–

I found myself gossiping about work issues this week and honestly, I don’t remember the details but it had to be about something petty and quite frankly, it was none of my darn business…at all.

I have to admit–it’s contagious. It’s juicy…It’s…inevitably toxic!

The gossip is totally toxic and inevitably created more negative energy in my spirit. Get this– all the while, the person had no friggin idea that this was even happening! So who’s getting hurt by it in the end? I was giving off the negative energy therefore, it became apart of me. I gots ta give THAT up!

Are we building each other up, especially as women, or tearing us down? The world does enough of that already.

I thought I left those negative thoughts in 2017  is a blog post worthy of checking out.  (shameless plug)!! 

Trying to get to the next level in life, love, relationships, career–you name it–requires a shift in our energy that will attract what we are asking for. Give up what’s not working for you AND give what you want in return.

For instance–

I desire to be a wife but if I refuse to carry myself as such in the now, even before the husband has been confirmed, how will marriage manifest for me? I have to begin to act like one in order to become one. I definitely had to give my clubbing days a rest. I digress.

We are all going through the process of  seeking more whether it be in the form of love, time, recognition, money, attention, respect, resources…

In order for us to get more, we have to give more.


Giving up more of our ENERGY in the form of  love, help, positivity, creativity, encouragement, motivation, patience, a listening ear…requires a shift in our thinking. It requires a change in how we want our lives to be. It requires the actual act of doing what it takes to get to that place. It requires a shift in our energy. This is part of that whole self-love mantra I so LOVE to talk about

So, I’m in the process of shifting today. What are you giving up?



Energy shifting, peace, etc…

I recently wanted to put my energy into a trivial issue that was way beyond my control. Yes, I can pick at it, over analyze it and have the most insecure thoughts run rampant in my head. How would that benefit me though?

Yes, I was getting to that point but then I stopped to ask myself, “Is this a true reflection of my greatness?”

“Is this very moment going to make me feel better about myself or attract the energy that I need to thrive?”

Absolutely not.

Low key: I so anxiously wanted the last word and I had to realize that by me encouraging further insult to injury, the only person I was truly hurting was myself. Not cute. 

I know it happens to the best of us: our energy gets caught up in the wrong places and it puts a hold on our lives which ends up becoming repeated cycle. That same negative energy keeps us focused on the wrong thoughts, people, emotions and scenarios and it forces us to stay in a cycle of personal destruction.

Shifting your energy to the positive instead of entertaining something negative, especially if it’s way beyond your control or doesn’t represent your wonderful self, is so powerful.

I write/speak on cycles a lot because I believe that if the lesson isn’t learned in the previous cycle, it will continue. Life is supposed to teach us lessons, especially through our experiences.

We have the power to choose how we disperse our energy and the type that we attract. I had to activate that today because I really wanted to allow my emotions to control me.

You have the power to do better than yesterday and even more tomorrow. You have the power to not allow outside circumstances determine your joy.


I made the self-preserving decision to NOT have the last word. I didn’t send a response to what could have been a COMPLETE disaster. I did this to not only protect my energy but to also remind myself that I don’t have to entertain my negative thoughts. You have the power to choose.

  • I can choose to be positive.
  • I can choose to shift my energy.
  • I can choose to focus on how I can be more aligned with the purpose that I was called to do.

Releasing the idea that I need to have it all figured out is so….darn freeing. I have so much living to do (as well as you) that doesn’t involve petty arguments, assumptions, anger, confusion, frustration, self-sabotage or manipulation.

No hunny, that’s definitely not cute.

You could be:

  • Seeking God through prayer, worship or reading his word
  • Activating your ministry
  • Reading a great book
  • Exercising
  • Planning your next get away
  • Working on a much-needed project
  • Spending quality time with loved ones
  • Finding ways to healthier living choices both mentally and physically
  • Enjoying nature
  • Focusing on your greatness
  • Participating in self-care rituals, unapologetically.

It’s totally up to you what you decide to label as your energy focus but it is a matter of being conscientious about your decision to maintain your peace and understand that your greatness matters. The energy you release into the universe will eventually make its back to you.

What are you doing today to shift your energy and focus on your greatness?

Make it a day of greatness, beautiful soul.

Why didn’t I leave that in 2017?

Hey lovelies!

I missed you dearly. In fact, let me start off by screaming (cover your ears) Happy New Year! I intentionally wanted to yell that out because this year is meant for new beginnings.I’m rooting for you and I know this is going to be a year of phenomenal moments and unexpected surprises. Be in gratitude because so much more is to come!


May this year bring you more clarity, direction, purpose, love, light, joy and peace. I hope and pray that your heart desires, hopefully aligned with God’s will for your life, manifest for you!


However, in order for you to fully receive this….you need to ask yourself, “Do I love me enough to let go of whatever wasn’t for me from 2017?”

When I blog, I’m not just speaking to you—I’m speaking to myself as well. Yes, yes, what woman do you know that doesn’t intentionally speak to herself? Now, it may not all be in a nurturing kind of way but believe you me, we are definitely talking one way or the next. The speaking to self is so necessary because sometimes…well…we just need a roaring but gentle reminder.

I’ve already recognized that there are some things that carried over with me from 2017 that should have been burned and buried 6 feet under. Adios. Finito. I’m so super serious…but…we live and learn.

It’s the necessary chaos that reminds you to raise your standards and expectations and leave no room for foolishness! It shouldn’t get to the point of disgust but when it does, you are willing to go the extra mile, deal with the unnecessary chaos and make some life altering changes with the potential of positioning yourself for new beginnings. Sound like you? Ah…well…it’s not too late! (Hey, 2018, I see you).

I’ve been in some pretty messed up romantic relationships. I’ve been mishandled, not just by a man but by myself. I use the word mishandled because when you don’t know who you are and your worth, it automatically gives people the permission to misuse you and not treat you in the way that you deserve. Then, it forces you to mis-handle yourself and settle for less than God’s best because you aren’t aware of your super amazing self. If you were, would you  have allowed yourself to stay unhappy and mentally/emotionally blocked by ridiculousness? Exactly. I didn’t think so.


You know the saying, God only helps children and fools….who can confess to being a fool at one point in life?? Ummmm….I confess. (***drops the mic).

That’s when necessary chaos forces us to change. It’s the discovery that you are finally through with B.S. and you are now looking for the nearest exit. It’s like the universe is telling us to get out of your own way but forces you to do so by unwanted circumstances (i.e. a crazy workplace, bad vibin’ friend, a draining romantic relationship, a prideful spirit, etc).

You see, without that necessary chaos, our lives will continuously end up in the same repeated cycles of destruction, leaving us wondering if there is anything better than staying where we are.

You see, my necessary chaos allows me to see that no, I don’t have to take this and yes, I can do better, mainly with how I value myself.

This includes your spiritual awareness (energy doesn’t lie), mental health and emotional stability. Looking at the inner depths of your soul…connecting to your self in ways that speaks volumes or in other words prevents the necessary chaos from even happening because you’ve developed this innate sense of self that says….I’m not entertaining the nonsense anymore!

Get this-The necessary chaos can’t even ruffle your feathers unless you allow it to because you’ve put self-love on the back burner in order to please or appease someone else.  Self-love MUST dominate first.

For the record, please don’t confuse self-love for a  full body massage, nails, hair and a new pair of red bottoms…(which I’ve never owned by the way…but you get the point). Believe me–physical appearance is so important but it starts with how we feel about ourselves. The rest will naturally radiate from the inside out, on purpose!

Eventually, your life will have no room for toxic nonsense or the necessary chaos that forces you to move. You will automatically recognize your self-worth which is tantamount to self-love. Good bye to anything that brings your energy to an all time low, breeds confusion or keeps you stuck by not allowing you to be the queen that you were created to be.

By the way, check out my blog post on your worth being greater than your woes right here.

Here are just some of the things I should have left in 2017:

  • Procrastination
  • Self-sabotage
  • Allowing fear to control you
  • Confusion
  • Draining romantic counterparts
  • Settling…for less
  • Bad habits
  • Limiting your mindset
  • Ignoring your God given intuition (ladies, we all have it).

When you release these back to where they came from–the depths of deep insecurities, low self-esteem and the lies that you’ve told yourself – you naturally invite self-love.

How, you ask?


It starts with a powerful switch in your mind by acknowledging who you truly are for all of your goodness and the latter. Loving you enough to say no…loving you enough to actually do better. Loving you enough to position yourself for greater and staying in that space until change comes. It starts with the inner workings of you. Yes, yes, a few bumps on the head is totally normal and expected….heck, I am still bumping my head even as I write. Ouch and Amen!

After a ton of wake up calls, bumps on the head, Ahhh haaa moments and intuition slaps…enough is enough and you realize that you’ve GOT to do better, sis! Period. No excuses this time around.

New beginnings, remember? The number 8 (2018) represents new beginnings soooo…what are you waiting for?

Lovely day beautiful soul.






What I learned from a broken heart…

Affirmation: You are in the process of being healed from your broken heart.

Cooking has become therapeutic for me.

Reading is a positive distraction from my personal worries.

Exercise relieves my stress…when I make time to actually participate.

Writing…has become self affirming and restoring…

Laughing…a reminder of my joy.

These are pieces of my healing process.

When it comes to a crushed heart….ahhh now that’s a hard one.  So many of us beautiful, bright, successful, intelligent you name it-women are dealing with unhealed broken hearts and spirits. We try to cover it up by moving onto the next man because we are afraid of being alone, feel that we are “missing out” or, worse, attempt to create the picturesque idea of what we think our lives “should” be at this point.

Oh girl! I know this story all too well. Hey, I’m in my mid 30’s and if you would have asked me at 18 what I’d be doing now…I would of given you a completely different response than what I’ve experienced. Are my experiences wrong or unwarranted? I won’t get into self judgement at this point but some of my decisions have not been the best. The point is we can’t control it all, even who we fall in love with and what the aftermath of that love looks like.

If someone would have taught me as a teenager how to truly fall in love with myself, I wonder if the amount of heart-break I’ve experienced at this point in my life would have happened. Lord only knows.

In the midst of a confused mind, heart and spirit, we go and go…and go and hide and hide and hide and…put on front after front… without being…still enough to recognize the truth. Truths are told far sooner than the words that speak but we are sooo caught up that we loose…ourselves.


I’ve had my heart broken….well actually a few times.  It’s been broken then crushed into tiny pieces to the point where I felt doomed, miserable and unable to recognize that I can be free from the painfully disturbing pain of a heartbreak with sprinkles of love, forgiveness, strength, hope and prayer.

Let me tell you something real- I never gave my broken heart a chance to heal because I didn’t know how.  Please believe that I was the one who went on and on…never really stopping long enough to recognize and love on me. This led to relationships full of extreme disappointment, misuse, manipulation, verbal abuse, confusion, bitterness and malicious bouts of anger…all because I didn’t heal.

Oh, sis, I covered it well…hiding from truth, fearing loneliness, seeking love and recognition from a man when it needed to come from myself.

I got over the man not physically being there but never fully over what hurt I experienced. I can’t blame it all on them. I didn’t recognize my queen status enough to not let it happen. I just continuously moved on thinking that the next one will be much better than the priors. When the next one didn’t make me “feel validated  as a women or “fully” happy, I gave up hope and walked away with yet another…broken heart. First off, don’t fall into the trap of thinking a man should make you feel complete in your happiness or worth. It all starts with you first. I had to learn this the hard way…

The cycle: it went on and on, the act of jumping into a new situationships, one after the next, looking for men to complete me, affirm my importance and to prove to the rest of the watching world that yes, I am successful. Different man, same scenario. Broken hearted. unhealed. repeat. repeat. And…this destructive cycle continued…for years.

I eventually began to accept relationship failure as the norm and was determined to see every man who came into my life as a source of pain because I never healed….

It became too much-

  • When true love entered my life and I found myself making excuses to accept it.
  • When I found myself expecting failure to occur in future relationships.
  • When I couldn’t love myself enough to let go of the past.
  • When all my thoughts became a self-destructive web of confusion, pain, bitterness and brokenness.

Self-love takes work. I recognized the need for healing and wanted to do so.  In order for me to get through this, despite my broken heart experiences, I needed to take all of these healing scenarios into consideration by…

  • Letting go of my past in order to successfully move forward.
  • Anticipating positive change.
  • Learning to trust that God is protecting my heart and spirit.
  • Listening to my inner self.
  • Accepting true love.
  • Giving true love.
  • Speaking positive affirmations aloud.
  • Realizing that all will work out for the good regardless.

When I realized that life always works out for the good…I could finally let go- breathe- seek peace… and finally practice self-love.

Have I accomplished complete success in all these areas? Ha! Noooooo…Hecky naw. Gurl…puleeze! It’s a process.

What are you doing to heal from a past broken heart experience?

Sis-star!  I write from a place of transparency and truth. I share in this space because I  see so many of my friends, acquaintances, family members, sis-stars and readers alike go through the same cycles of self sabotage and hate over and over again. We aren’t built for this! We are built to gain the victory over the stress, the mess, the lost sense of self and most definitely the broken heart. Hearts aren’t meant to stay broken. They are meant to give love and receive love. I knew that I had love to share and that I DESERVED true, unapologetic love…and so do you.

Matter of fact, let’s start by the words you speak over your life. Your heart isn’t broken. Your heart is in a state of healing. Your mind, body and soul are all connected to your healing journey.

Brokenness isn’t a permanent place but a time to reflect, renew and restore. It’s a time to realize what’s broken and then love on yourself enough to want to grow, improve and make peace with your past hurt.

It ALL starts from within. I can’t push you. Your kids can’t. Your sista girls can’t. You have to want change. It starts with the desire to be more in line with purpose. It starts with being in love with your self enough to not allow that broken heart to linger any longer because you deserve joy.  Let’s move forward in the spirit of healing and love.

Remember, it’s a process!