I’m not qualified for this!
You mean to tell me that I have to….?
There wasn’t even a yes/no/maybe box that I could check off or an option as to whether I even wanted to participate.
“You got this! What’s the problem?”
“Oh, and you will need to research information about assessments and be ready to present by next Thursday.”
“Are you seriously asking me to…? What do you mean what’s my problem?”
I know she didn’t just ask me to…
“I’m not qualified for this. What about her over there….ask her.”
I don’t even want to begin to know what they are going to think of me. I’m just not qualified for all this!
Besides, I don’t like speaking in front of people so why in the heck would you choose—Why would you choose….me?
“Look, let me continue on with my current flow and get back to sippin on my tea in my comfort zone, okay lady?” Becuase…I’m just not qualified.
This was my head a few days ago.
I was asked to speak in front of 30 or so colleagues for our January staff meeting. Oh, and for those of you who don’t follow me regularly, I’m that 1st grade teacher you always wish you had…let that one sink on in for a minute while I clear my throat. Ahh emmm.
I was still stuck on the words–
“You will be co-presenting…”
The rest of the words after that became a blur. Out of the 30 or so staff members, you couldn’t pick someone else? I wasn’t qualified for this.
I would do anything to NOT get up in front of people. Just sit me in a corner to listen and watch. I’m a shy lady. See, I’m just not that qualified…
There was no backing out unless I quit my job and hustle to find another. That wasn’t happening…bills are currently wreaking havoc in my life unfortunately…but, I just wasn’t qualified.
I researched. I stayed up staring at the computer screen until 1:37 a.m. while my spirit was filled with nervousness, angst and anxiety over what could potentially become an epic fail. I’m just not qualified for this! Why?
Did you say you weren’t qualified?
Well, 3:49 p.m. Thursday afternoon came and I found myself in front of those 30 or so judgemental co workers. I originally thought I would freeze up, slur my words, get all sweaty and pass out. No joke. I literally passed out about a month ago so ya girl ain’t playin.
This presentation, however, not only forced me to research a strategy that I probably wouldn’t have taken the time to do otherwise but allowed me to truly face my fears.
One thing that I can take away from all this is:
- I felt good after it was all said and done.
- It wasn’t so bad after all.
- I felt confident to do it again.
- I felt accomplished in the task of actually doing what I said I would do.
- I felt nervous…but that comes with the territory, I suppose.
What mattered the most for me is…I FACED MY FEAR.
I can remember being asked to speak a few months back in front of a room full of strangers. Girl, I spilled that tea! I told all my little business and it came easy. Why? I figured that I’ll never have to see them folks again. These co-workers….girl…I tell ya is an entirely different dramatic episode.
As black women, we tend to lower our believe systems about ourselves to make others in the room comfortable. Yes, I said it: You have been disqualifying yourself for far too long. Release all those lies…
Did you read the book?
I read the Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes last year and it truly was a life changer for me. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly suggest it, especially if you are like me and afraid of anything that has to do with the infamous words: PUBLIC SPEAKING. Rhimes, who became my virtuous sistar by the end of the book, literally said YES to all of the opportunities that were presented to her in that year as she watched her life transform into amazingness! Another black woman game changer. Love it!
Will this be your year of Yes?
I finally said Yes!
I finally told my fears that yes, I’m qualified.
I realized after the fact that I was automatically disqualifying myself by thinking I wasn’t worth it. Not only did I allow my fears of public speaking discourage me, I literally told my self that I wasn’t good enough to speak in front of people whom I felt were more experienced than I.
Get ready for position…
Now ladies, this is the worst form of self-sabotage we can do for ourselves: underestimating the greatness within.
I was being positioned for something that I had prayed for weeks and even months ago but I disqualified myself before the opportunity because I didn’t see my greatness.
I was forced to face my fear, say yes and do it scared. Did I fail? No. Was I qualified? Of course I am! Never underestimate the power of your greatness. You got this!
Do you keep a prayer journal?
I’ve been keeping a prayer journal since the beginning of the year. I write down things that I’m praying for, my moments of gratitude and the dream details that I do remember. I write these down because believe it or not, we can lose our memory really quick, especially when it comes to what God is doing for us. So, I’ve been asking God to position me to speak in front of people.
Sometimes, God will force you out of your comfort zone because he knows that the purpose on your life is much more powerful than your fears.
Let’s not disqualify ourselves and miss out on a blessing, an opportunity, favor or even promotion. God has more in store for you beyond your imagination so please sis, don’t disqualify your blessing!!
Your past is your past. You are growing, glowing, evolving and changing. Give yourself permission to do so, not necessarily in that order. 🙂 Just do the damn thang…
The universe needs you to be your best self and to THRIVE!
Just because opportunities haven’t happened like this for you in the past, doesn’t mean that it won’t for you in the NOW! This is your season to shine and to push past whatever it is that’s holding you back.
You ARE qualified to get whatever it is that is designed for your purpose, unapologetically!
This is your season so get ready!