That nagging feeling…

Something didn’t feel right. I just couldn’t figure it all out…
I tried to overlook this feeling because I thought it was my ugly insecurities roaring again, trying to block me from my blessings. Go away, chile, go away!
But that nagging feeling…it just wouldn’t go away.
It was almost as if it was a blaring red flag, as they like to say, right in my face. Stop!
I saw it waving  but…I pushed that out of my face, too. Lies…I tell ya…all lies! Not today!
I ignored all the basic signs, gave in to the benefit of the doubt. I hid my truth to satisfy. I hid my truth to please. I hid my truth to what I thought was love but…
That feeling….the nagging…it just wouldn’t go away. 
I even covered up for the world to see with my pout painted in my favorite Ruby Red lipstick. I curled my thick locs and kept my body tight.  I had it going on and you couldn’t tell me NOTHIN! I’m snazzy!
There shouldn’t be reasons why my feelings would lie. Sistah Intuition–are you hatin on me again?
Sistah please!
But that nagging feeling…it wouldn’t go away.
I was more than qualified–two degrees, independent, purpose-filled, gifted..and shall I say sexy!
But that nagging feeling…it just wouldn’t go away.
I settled, compromised, fake smiled, ignored my feelings and hoped for the best…
But that nagging feeling…it just wouldn’t go away.
 I wanted to love. I wanted to be loved. I wanted it to work out the way I wanted it to…
Bump that! Naw…this ish has got to work dammit!
But that nagging feeling…it just wouldn’t go away.
But the nagging…the source came from a deep sense of intuition, which always told me the truth in the past but…I didn’t want to hear all that jazz . No!
So go on, Sistah Intuition, go on with all that nonsense foolery!
Fortunately,
She finally caught up with me…Sistah Intuition revealed the ugly truth. Ouch and amen.
Oh, Sistah Intuition, I wish I would’ve listened. Sistah Intuition….please, your truth hurts too much. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I never understood the whole idea of women’s intuition until I fell in love. I never understood what that truly meant until I had experienced the aftermath of NOT listening to my intuition. Intuition, that tiny gut feeling that something is “off” or “not right” has tons of validity to it.

As women, we have a deeper understanding of what is good for us and the latter. I used to blame it on overworked emotions, past romances, broken hearts, etc but those came and left for a reason. They came to teach us and they ended up leaving us because life realized that we deserve sooo much more!

When we don’t realize our amazing strength, our wisdom, our beauty and the overall genius of who we are (truth), we fall for what we think of ourselves in that very moment. We think low…we get low. We think high…well…

However, when God is ready to take you to that next level, Sistah Intuition has to step in. She knows much better than we do in our very weak moments and recognizes our truth and potential.

We know better but we continue to fail at that soooo…

Sistah Intuition sends us gentle reminders that we deserve better and can do better.

It takes a desire to want better for self, life and love. It takes an incredulous amount of self-love to look in the mirror to recognize that yes, Sistah Intuition came to save my mind, body and soul…..and no…I won’t suffer any longer in a lie nor will I continue to run from the inevitable truth!

Dear Sistah Intuition…

I won’t ignore your light and truth. You graced my heart and spirit with your presence once again and for that, I’m forever grateful.

One day…at a time.

Peace be still.

 

in·tu·i·tion
ˌint(y)o͞oˈiSH(ə)n/
noun
noun: intuition
  1. the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.
    “we shall allow our intuition to guide us”
    synonyms: instinct, intuitiveness; More

    sixth sense, clairvoyance, second sight
    “he works according to intuition”
    • a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.
      plural noun: intuitions
      “your insights and intuitions as a native speaker are positively sought”
      synonyms: hunch, feeling (in one’s bones), inkling, (sneaking) suspicion, idea, sense, notion; More

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